


I’ll Wear a Bandage, My Dear (Don’t You Worry about My Wound)

by midnightshon



Series: A Roommate for the Night [7]
Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2019-08-01 11:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16283522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightshon/pseuds/midnightshon
Summary: “You said yes.”





	I’ll Wear a Bandage, My Dear (Don’t You Worry about My Wound)

Her touch tonight was different.

 

Then again, she might have mistaken. It’s been a year anyway; Joohyun could’ve forgotten what it’s like to be held by Son Seungwan. Or so Joohyun had been telling herself for the past hour.

 

The room was quiet, except for the slow breathing behind her back, soft yet audible.

 

They were in that hotel room again, just the two of them, just like what they promised two years earlier. To celebrate what, neither ever decided, yet they still found their way there like they did the previous year.

 

(Still found their way to each other.)

 

“You said yes,” Joohyun heard herself responding.

 

Seungwan hummed against her shoulder, tickling her sensitive skin awake. “She went first; I’m going with the earliest flight tomorrow morning.”

 

 _Why not today?_ Joohyun wanted to ask, but didn’t. She _knew_ why.

 

Because that day was theirs. Because Seungwan knew Joohyun would come. Because Seungwan had to tell Joohyun that she’s leaving. Because Seungwan needed to come, too, and tell her this, so Joohyun would stop coming, so Joohyun would not make a fool of herself and wait for someone who would not come back.

 

 _There is no next year_. Joohyun received the unspoken message well.

 

Joohyun was surprised it took Seungwan this long to get sick of seeing her.

 

Two years ago was perfect for that.

 

\--

_“You said yes.”_

_Joohyun put down her earring to peer at Seungwan’s reflection in the mirror. No change in her expression whatsoever, it’s still as calm as her voice was. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected to see in Seungwan’s eyes. Just… something. Something other than expressionless would do._

_Maybe a surprised one. Surprised that Bae Joohyun, who never considered marriage her top priority, just said yes to a marriage proposal. Or maybe, surprised that Bae Joohyun, who always takes time to get to know someone, just said yes to marrying a guy she barely knew. Or surprised that Bae Joohyun, who hates spontaneity, was getting married in less than two months._

_“Yeah,” Joohyun turned around, “I said yes.” Maybe if she looked at Seungwan directly, instead of from a mirror, she’d see her expression better._

_“Is he nice?”_

_“It’s an okay from my mother, so should be.”_

_Seungwan hummed, eyes darting to whatever there was on the other side of the room. A pause, and Joohyun was almost tempted to ask what could be more interesting there than the fact that she’s now an engaged woman._

_(Why wasn’t Seungwan looking at her?)_

_She had expected Seungwan to ask her why. Why she accepted the guy. Why she agreed to the arranged marriage. Why she said yes to everything._

_(Because Joohyun is a good daughter who’ll always say yes to whatever her parents tell her to do. Because, even when she didn’t like him, she had no reason to say no. Because she couldn’t tell her parents not to meddle with her love life. Because she didn’t have anyone to introduce to her parents as her date that could bail her out of the arranged marriage. Because Seungwan—_

_Because… despite knowing about the plan, Seungwan hadn’t told her to say no._

_Because they’re just close friends, she and Seungwan, and would never be anything more than that.)_

\--

Joohyun often thought about it and questioned herself. What if she had said no? What if she hadn’t just waited and actually made the first move and confessed to Seungwan? Probably they wouldn’t have been stuck in the hotel room, silently pitying their separate lives together and how it would never become ‘ours’. Maybe they would’ve been in a night flight to Canada by now, Joohyun sitting in a passenger seat with Seungwan next to her, together, and not Seungwan alone going after Seulgi in a morning flight tomorrow.

 

Maybe’s, that’s all that Joohyun would ever have of them. A mere illusion. Because, even before the engagement, Seungwan never openly expressed herself to Joohyun. She never confessed.

 

Maybe all the adoration she often caught dancing in Seungwan’s dark orbs was an illusion, too. Maybe she liked Seungwan too much she deluded herself into thinking that Seungwan liked her back just as much.

 

So when Seungwan asked how she had been, ‘okay’ was the automatic answer she gave. What else could she tell Seungwan? She’s supposed to be okay and happy. Happy with her life and marriage. Happy for herself. Happy for Seungwan and the future she’s going to pursue with Kang Seulgi.

 

Joohyun was supposed to be happy.

 

(She will never be happy if it’s not with Seungwan.)

 

\--

 

She left fifteen minutes later, afraid that if she stayed any longer, she wouldn’t be able to let go of Seungwan.

 

She couldn’t, but still did, and left another part of herself behind for Seungwan to keep.

 

(Or to throw away. Which sane person keeps a piece of her past when she’s about to start a new life with someone else?)

 

A brown envelope sat silently in the passenger seat, as if mocking Joohyun for her cowardice. Inside it was a copy of a divorce letter she filed the week before. She kept it to herself and her (soon ex) husband for seven days too long, thinking that Seungwan would be the first person she’d tell about it.

 

If only she had contacted Seungwan earlier and not waited until today…

 

 _“I finally said yes to Seulgi’s proposal this morning,”_ Seungwan’s words were loud and clear in her mind. _“We’re moving to Canada.”_

 

Joohyun shouldn’t have waited that long.

 

\----

 

Inside the hotel room, Seungwan lay on her back. Joohyun’s familiar scent was still dancing in her nostrils, keeping her from falling asleep.

 

Just like two years ago.

 

Just like that night when she learned that she would lose Joohyun.

 

Yet unlike that night, she’s losing Joohyun for real now.

 

Joohyun’s not coming back ever again.

 

Seungwan ‘told’ her not to.

 

The loud ringtone of her phone interrupted her thought. She regretted not turning it off earlier, and now it’s blaring in the silence of the room, worsening her headache.

 

“Did you tell her?” A familiar voice in its worried tone greeted Seungwan in place of a ‘hello’.

 

“Hi, Seul.” Seungwan turned to lie on her side, eyes staring at the space that was occupied by Bae Joohyun earlier. “It’s done and over with now.”

 

“You didn’t tell her.” Seulgi was frowning, Seungwan could tell.

 

 _She’s still happily married. How could I?_ “Did you land safely?”

 

There was a pause. Seungwan knew Seulgi was conflicted whether to drop the topic or to tell her best friend how stupid she was. But really, there’s no need for the latter. Seungwan was stupid. She knew that.

 

Seungwan was stupid, because that was her happiness that she’s holding in her arms half an hour ago, and she let her go just like that. She didn’t even put up a fight. She let her go after harshly pushing her away.

 

“Enjoy your vacation,” Seungwan said. “Tell Sooyoung I say hi.”

 

Seulgi sighed. She understood. “All right. I’ll tell her that. Take care of yourself.”

 

It was silent again. Not even the sound of her heart breaking could be heard.

 

Then again, what’s there left of her heart to break? It’d been completely shattered on the day of Joohyun’s wedding, her standing closely next to the bride, smiling despite her heart that beat crazily again its ribcage, because that’s what bridesmaids do. They smile, because they must look happy to match the happiness of the bride.

 

Seungwan had never been okay since then.

 

She would never be, but she still played her part, because Joohyun was happy with her life and the least Seungwan could do was to pretend that she was, too.

 

\--------


End file.
